Suicide

 

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Suicide is Painless

 

Through early morning fog I see

Visions of the things to be,

The pains that are withheld for me,

I realize and I can see...

 

        That suicide is painless,

        It brings on many changes

        And I can take or leave it if I please.

 

The game of life is hard to play,

I'm going to loose it anyway,

The loosin' card I'll someday lay;

So this is all I have to say...

 

        That suicide is painless,

        It brings on many changes

        And I can take or leave it if I please.

 

The only way to win is cheat

And lay it down before I'm beat

And to another give my seat

For that's the only painless feat.

 

        That suicide is painless,

        It brings on many changes

        And I can take or leave it if I please.

        And you can do the same thing if you please.

 

 (Mash Theme Song)

(Mike Altman and Johnny Mandel)

 

Jonathan Aurthur

 

John Johnson

 

            Jonathan Aurthur passed away on Nov. 22, after leaping into the Angles National Forest at the age of 56. Jonathan was a long-time progressive activist who in recent years was active in the struggle to keep the Ballona Wetlands free of development. The Wetlands are a unique area of Los Angeles, a rich ecosystem comprised of riparian land and freshwater marsh surrounded by bluffs and a creek which runs from the Westside through Venice and Playa del Rey to the ocean.

 

            Jonathan was also a member of the Sixties group Newsreel. My friend Paul Shinoff who passed away a few years ago was a founding member of that group. It produced documentaries about activists, Vietnam, Cuba, and the Black Panthers which were shown in meetings, on college campus. A few even made it to theaters and film festivals.

            The story of his suicide starts with his own son's leap onto the Santa Monica Freeway due to mental illness, and Jonathan's efforts to deal with that. In recent years, he, like a lot of progressive activists, had a hard time finding a regular job and was in extreme debt. 

 

            To paraphrase Albert Camus, suicide is a logical answer to the contradiction between our consciousness of the universe and ourselves and the actual limited nature of our physical lives.  But suicide is rarely committed for logical reasons. It's almost always for some emotional reason  Even something trivial such as being snubbed by a friend can push one over the edge if everything else that day stacks up too heavily to bear. (and as we know today, from chemical reasons such as bipolar disease).

 

            And in some way the reelection of Bush was said to be one of those final straws for Aurthur.

 

            But since when has this system allowed a real progressive to have real power? We need to built a movement and community that always fights for progressive issues for their own sake . That movement must survive on its own, have its own resources, be they monetary or emotional. We will win battles and we will lose some, but if you can't live with such horrors as the slaughter in Iraq, torture on a massive scale, or the prospects of no health care for your loved ones or yourself, you may sincerely believe you have no other alternative to taking your own life. 

 

            This Re-New Year, 2005, will be time for us to take a fresh look at the job - the hard but extremely worthwhile effort - of creating a more just society and world. Of coming up with new ways to communicate our visions for a more progressive system. We have the opportunity to learn better ways of relating to each other and building our own communities. Jonathan and Gary Webb should not have had to feel that suicide was the way out. Deep emotional issues aside, there must be ways to help one another nurture and foster hope in our own communities. Placing our hopes in the fundamentally flawed and corrupt US election process has never been a good idea. Our struggles should always go beyond that. 

 

            We need to create a space within our movements and ourselves. Not space as in real estate, but space as in infinite, timeless, room for all. A nonjudgmental and forgiving space. Filled only with an objective moral and principled love. With room enough for everyone, including ourselves.

 

            Some people will declare, and behave as though, they have no room for the problems of others, especially personal problems. But does a mother run out of love because the one who needs it is her 4th child? Is the room in her heart finite?  Does it matter if ten or 10,000 Iraqi's are bombed by our own country for one to be concerned? We can't solve all problems but we can have the sense and the will to begin to act always according to the truth as it clarifies within ourselves.

 

            The MASH theme song was inspired by a scene in the film where one of the doctors decided to commit suicide. The other doctors agreed to help him take his life, but instead gave him a mild anesthetic and had a nurse give him oral sex. The doctor's suicide wish vanished.